On the meaning of four French words
Jean-Baptiste Berthelin
for the journal
Alliance number 103 (1996)
Why we say "beau", speaking of an in-law.
French words for son-in-law (gendre) and daughter-in-law
(bru), respectively from Latin and Germanic origin, are with us from immemorial
times. However, other terms for in-laws, using the prefix "beau", are much more
recent. We shall examine each of them.
According to the Petit Robert dictionary,
beau-frère appeared in the year 1386. To the present day, this figure
is subject to (not always benevolent) stereotypical visions. Here "beau" does not
mean "handsome", it has a metaphoric, albeit serious meaning. A brother-in-law is a
brother indeed, like a brother at arms. I can think of two reasons for that, and
they are related to each other. In Medieval France, fratricide struggles were
avoided, so, by extending the notion of brotherhood, one could preserve peace among
neighbours. Moreover, the head of a lineage found it advisable to have his sons
educated by their maternal uncles. In a much older, matriarcal world, a mother
could designate her elder brother as "father" and head of the tribe. Here we find
also an educational aspect (less struggles between uncle and nephew than between
father and son) and, last but not least, those youngsters could play a role of
hostages, preserving the "fraternal peace" among domains. An emblematic case of
such brotherhood is given by
Roland and Oliver.
In 1423, enters belle-soeur (sister-in-law). The
risk with her is not of war, but of incest. A lady, once married, kept her
unmarried sisters as companions, and the Church tried to remind the husbands of the
danger, in houses where all people were in their subordination.
When young and
widowed, a belle-mère (mother-in-law) could of course raise similar
issues. The dictionary gives no precise date of birth for the word, but a period,
"early fifteenth century", that corresponds with the previous one.
Beau-père, father-in-law, is from 1457, just
after the official end of the Middle Ages. This character had a small value among
warriors, and a larger one in pacific dynasties of merchants and scholars, brought
about by the growth of towns and cities, where older men were no longer deprived of
their power and wealth. Also, it means that families no longer merge together to
form clans and tribes.
These remarks are mere musings about familiar terms,
leaning on remembrances of a book by Georges Duby,
The Knight, the Lady and the Priest, usefully commented by
Matt Kuefler
of San Diego State University.
Also, I wrote this from a definitely "patriarcal" point of
view, so that all four relations are connecting an adult, married man to other
people. Clearly, one should also envision them as used by other members of the
nuclear family, as it precisely developed in those medieval times, on the ruins of
the former, extensive systems of kinship.